Life has its fair share of happy moments. Sad moments. Confusing moments. Angry moments.
Life also has its fair share of happy, sad, angry, and confusing memories. And these memories and moments pare two of the many facets that come together to create a person’s personality. So you really shouldn’t ever get surprised in life, if everything’s all black and white. But it’s not just black and white. It’s gray.
While our memories and moments shape who we are, sometimes they can remind us of what we’re not. If you were sitting in silence after failing a test, bittersweet memories of ice cream outings after you’d gotten all A’s on your report card would loom over you.
Sometimes those memories and moments help shape you into who you are-but not in the way you wanted. Or expected. If you dreamed of becoming a detective because of all those years you’d spent reading Nancy Drew, you’d end up a hotshot PI.
If the moments in life truly defined you, then I-and maybe a lot of other people-wouldn’t be happy to live. I would be living a lie. Someone else’s life. Someone else’s dreams. If I was defined by my moments, I’d be a workaholic lawyer who tries with little success to connect with her family. I also would be a lawyer just to be a lawyer.
But if you were defined by the little things in your life, would you be happy to be you? I certainly would. I would be a prestigious psychologist known for her empathy and concern towards her patients. I would also write books on the side. And I’d be doing it for me-except for the psychologist thing. That I want to do to help people.
But isn’t it just funny how on the inside a person could be one thing on the outside but a completely different person on the inside?