It’s Gossip Girl here, your usual source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan’s élite. This week, that’s not what I’m doing. I know I’m older and wiser now, but that doesn’t mean I can’t return to my old ways. This week, I’m giving you a generous glimpse at the lives of the students at Green Grove High. Can’t be that different that Constance/St. Jude’s–all high schools are the same. Anyway, let me start over.
It’s Gossip Girl here, your one and only source into the clandestine lives of Green Grove’s élite…and the not so elite as well. Don’t be fooled, children-this town might look idyllic and peaceful…but it’s not. I’ll give you three hints about why: murder, murder, and child murderers.
This is the day of September 30, 2013. The air is crisp, the leaves are falling, and a teenage killer–Socio–has just started attending Green Grove High. Yep, so relaxing. We haven’t seen him yet, but we have seen his former besties, L and J. So what have they been up to?
L’s been cozying up to the popular girls in school, S and RC. They think she’s the best friend she could be. Think they’d still think that if they saw how quickly she ditched J? And if they knew what she did to J when they were thirteen? They’d throw her into social exile! (And hello–she’s the one who gave Socio his nickname. I don’t see how anyone could’ve thought I came up with it! I came out with Rope Boy, as a nod to our old friend Lonely Boy. But I guess Socio’s okay.)
J, however, started dressing like a boy-and she’s made some other wardrobe mistakes, as in that hideous mustard colored sweater-and throwing herself into her schoolwork. She’s made a new bestie herself-dorky little R. He thinks she has feelings for him. Wonder if he’s seen the way she looks at Socio…
And finally, Socio himself. I spotted him this morning heading to school-with his mommy, of course. Wonder how our baby killer is coping with the loss of his daddy? I have it on good authority that Socio’s dear old daddy-whom we’ll just call V-stopped visiting his murderer son a few months before he died. Aww, how tragic, right? Uh, yeah, no. Seriously, didn’t V’s parents ever tell him not to drink and boat? I mean, hello?! Common sense! But as you can see, the Desai’s are kind of…sort of…what’s the word? Oh, yeah, right. Insane!
•L, S, and RC making fun of J this morning before school. L didn’t seem too into it, and she was then seen talking to J. The horror! Not to mention she invited J to RC’s big party tonight. Are any of you going? Don’t forget to send me the deets!
•RC…inviting…Socio to the party. Excuse me for asking, but what kind of crazy pills is she on?!
•At the party, Socio and J show up together. Aww, how sweet. Within five minutes she’s completely inebriated. Seriously–we’ve seen Haymitch more sober!
•J attacked by jock boy we’ll just call Stoner Boy. Socio pulled him off and whispered something that was apparently very threatening, because the cocky Stoner Boy actually backed down. Strange sight, right?
•Socio and J walking home from the party. J is acting like a drunk little idiot–not saying that she is 😉–and Socio looks a little amused. L comes to their rescue and drives them home. At J’s house, her father slams a door in J’s face. How hilarious! At Socio’s house, we see a strange sight-L actually goes inside with him. And she didn’t leave the house until the next morning. Is this what I think it is? Wonder what her boyfriend, A, would think?
Breaking news. For one thing, RC was brutally murdered in the early morning…just hours after she sent Socio a disturbingly threatening booty call text. And I could’ve sworn I saw a figure of Socio’s height and weight skulking around RC’s house. And that, RC, is why you should never throw a party while your parents are away and invite a sociopath! Didn’t you learn anything from Scream?
Anyway…I have to sign off now. I have a strict rule against speaking ill of the dead, and if I keep talking, this will be a total smear piece. And I also have a strict rule against posting smear pieces.
Bye for now. I’ll keep you posted.
You know you loved her…..
XOXO, Gossip Girl 😘
What an adorable pic of S, RC, and L! But what happened to RC’s arm?